I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
