he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
