He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
i think i have herpe
just one?
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Randomize
