I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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