you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize