We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Randomize
