it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
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