Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
