WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
So much Jack, so little girl.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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