I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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