Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
