we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
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