i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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