he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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