you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
