do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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