shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
