My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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