when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
