I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
