direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
