i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
