I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
