dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
