roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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