Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
