I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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