he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
