nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
