Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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