It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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