well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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