Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
BRING THE BAGELS
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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