she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
