Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
