Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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