its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
