We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
