i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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