I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
