I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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