Im at strip club and am horny
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
