Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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