You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
