we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Randomize
