Sponge bath it is.
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
