super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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