erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
