that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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