Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
The chlamydia really affected his face.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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