STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
