No stitches, just platelets and will power
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
