Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
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