I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
