Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize