Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
