saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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