So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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