So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
