We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
